The first time I got this assignment, I thought that this assignment does not make sense. Since I do not exactly know what my writing style is, I thought that this assignment is going to be really demanding. First, I read through my writings but I could not find much information since I erased them all. So, I read all the paperback writings I did. I found out that all my writing styles are adapted to TOEFL writings. I felt kind of bad since I felt like I did not have my own style of writing. However, I tried to think positively and I found out that if I am adapted to TOEFL, I will be able to write essays that need firm structures easily. Thus, I think that my strong point about writing is that I can write formal essays easily.
What I need to improve is grammar and my example. All the time I write, I cannot easily think about what examples I should write to make my writing more supportive. After thinking for a long time, I come up with stupid ideas about example even which I think is ridiculous. Also, about the grammar, after I write, I proofread and I cannot find mistakes usually. However, when the teachers correct my writings, I make a lot of mistakes about grammar.
The ultimate goal about writing for me is to get out of TOEFL writing. I want to achieve this goal because I feel like I am stuck with this writing style.
The writing I am most proud of is the writing I wrote when I was 7. I like this writing the most since this writing makes me feel a lot about my past. First, I felt that I was really young at that time. This is because I wrote in my writing “I played with my friend. It was fun.” I wrote this simple sentence just for my diary. I think it is kind of fun to say, but I felt that this writing is very clean from the world. I felt that I was really happy back then. After reading this, I looked about my present state. I felt very ashamed of myself because I have made so many mistakes and I know that I am a very bad person now. I set my goal to become a very clean and nice person to everyone.
What I want from this class is fun. I do not want just fun. I want to learn about writing and how to improve on my writing and view of reading. I really expect to raise my writing and English ability this semester and I am taking a lot of English courses such and English literature. Also, what I do not want from this class is too much work to be honest. I know I should not be saying this kind of words, but since you told me to be honest!!! Lastly, I really want to be very friendly with the class and have a lot of fun throughout this semester.
I like your tone - very honest and even a bit playful and "fun." So I think that's also part of your style. That said, I hope this semester can see you improve in many ways, and foremost among areas that need improvement is your sentence structure. You need to start making longer sentences that don't repeat words or clauses. For example:
답글삭제"The writing I am most proud of is the writing I wrote when I was 7. I like this writing the most since this writing makes me feel a lot about my past. "
You use the word "writing" four times, and these two sentences can easily become one to look like this:
"The writing I am most proud of is a simple diary I kept when I was 7, which reminds me a lot about my past."
Combine, shorten, and lengthen - iron out your sentences to become concise statements. One plus one should equal two. You have two plus two equaling two in some places.
Your grammar isn't bad at all, and pretty solid when you find your rhythm. But you do need to settle on the best possible verb-tense for the writing you are doing, and then you have to maintain it. The first sentence is passive and present mixed, and that problem arises throughout.
As well, this could look a bit more the TOEFL essays you say you're good at writing. The first paragraph is too big and then we have two smaller ones. More organization needed.
That said, I can see you're creative and have a unique voice. I hope you can push yourself to writing more dynamically, with more focus on basics.
Good stuff.