Contradiction!?

Since I tried to live an honest life, I believe lying is a wrong doing.
However, is it really wrong to lie? Well, I cannot just say lying is the worst policy all the time. For example, if there was a boy who was 17 years old who was about to die in 3 days, nobody would surely define telling the truth is the right action. When I was 6 years old, my grandfather was suffering from cancer. I heard my father talking on the phone with his sister whether to tell the truth to grandfather. My father’s choice was to just let it be. He said, “Every person has his or her time and one has to know to let it go.”White lies are lies for good purposes. Nobody can define such actions as wrong or right. If one’s small lie could make other person’s life happier, is the conscience worth throwing away? As I have mentioned, no such answer to this question can be made easily.
Therefore, I would say honesty is a great policy. But, there are always exceptions to be made such as white lies.

Master your enemy. Master yourself.

           In a movie, “Transformers,” two sides of robots appear. Autobots and Decepticons are basically one type of species but fight due to different points of view. Like the movie “Transformers,” in most stories, there are conflicts between one and one’s enemy. In my life, there has been an enemy as well.

           Since the beginning of my life, I have played tug of war with myself. Sometimes it was the war between my honest self and my deceptive self, or between my kind self and my evil self. I cannot say that the good side always achieved victory. When I was 12 years old, I had a bad habit of playing game every day after school. Since I was just a young kid, I did not have enough money to play game for a long time. As I was ignorant at the time, I placed my pleasure on top of other values. As I felt the destitution of coins, I lied to my parents that I needed to buy school supplies in order to get money. Clearly, my lie could not stay safe from the eyes of my parents for a long time and I soon got caught. Then I had to stop playing game for good. As I grew up and thought about my past, I learned that what I had done was really dumb. From the wars between me and myself, I have realized that my life will always be full of conflicts between me and myself. The matter of which side is going to win does not matter to me. I believe that from the endless tug of war, I will be able to learn a lesson in life and make my standards and ways of living.

           In many stories, one side achieves victory and the lost one falls. However, in life, I believe the result does not necessarily have to be the lost one’s demise and the victorious one’s glory. Rather, the result can be more complementary. Everyone has his or her strength and weakness. From the competitions, people can learn their strong points and shortcomings. After realization, people can develop their merits even more and make up for their flaws. When I was in middle school, I suggested my friend to compete against each other’s test scores. Maybe it was the competition that made us to study much harder than usual. We both studied hard and made good results. However, I was weak at social studies and my friend was weak at science. We both found out what we were weak at and after the test, we helped each other to get better at what we were bad at. Like this, in reality, people do not always get divided as winners and losers. Rather, they can help each other.

           To sum up, there has been an enemy in my life who I will never get away from. The conflicts between me and myself, I believe, will lead me to my brighter future. Moreover, the competition is helpful for people. Unlike expectations, conflicts between people can lead them to acknowledgement of their strengths and weaknesses, leading them to become better people.

Reality... Can game be the escpae route?

           When people think their lives are harsh, they imagine of escaping reality. People imagine of their ideal lives and take a rest from those imaginations. In some cases, people just take in lives as if they are living in their imaginations. One of those people would be the main character in the film Ben X, Ben. Ben takes in his life as if he is playing games. In his cyber life, he is strong and powerful. On the contrary, in real life, he is just a weak student who gets bullied by other students. I thought that this dissonance in real life and game caused him to see the matters around him as a game because he wants to be as strong as he is in game.

           Can we say that the type of action Ben has taken is wrong? I believe we cannot. What I have realized during the movie is that it would be too harsh to take in the hard reality just as it is. In Ben’s case, Ben’s reality of being disabled and bullying make Ben suffer. Ben, in retaliation, makes his weapon, which unfortunately he never gets to use for real, and makes up an imaginary girlfriend Scarlet. Before his imaginary friend arrives, Ben tries to suicide but at the moment he tries to, his imaginary friend saves him. I viewed this scene as Ben’s rebirth and beginning of his revenge towards the bullies. With his imaginary friend, he starts on a project which he films. He shows the fake scene which looks as if he jumped into the sea. Then, he shows the bullying scene he has gone through. When everybody is shocked, he reappears from the back of the stage, enjoying his revenge. His imaginary girlfriend Scarlet stays with him until the end of the film.

           I have imagined about what I would do if I were in the situation similar to Ben. Maybe I could have just run away or maybe I could have confronted the bullies. I do not really know. However, what is sure is that I really need a lot of courage to stand up against the society. Since such is the case, I believe that using imagination to make the reality look a little bit easier or less harsh is not wrong. Rather, I would say it is clever to do so. If the reality is harsh, people do not have to take the reality as it is. Rather it would be easier to take in sweeter reality mixed with imagination.

           In film Ben X, Ben uses his imagination as a shield against the ugly society which bullies him. Using his imagination, he takes his revenge on bullies and lives a happy life later with his imaginary girlfriend. With use of imagination, people can take in the twisted reality less ugly. It is clearly not wrong to do such an action since people have the right to take in the reality as they want to.

Death Sentence...Why?

           Hey James, it is me Jenny. I am really happy I married you. Do you feel the same? I hope you do… (Tear mark) I really wished we could live happily forever or at least go to heaven together but I guess God won’t let us do so. Do you remember the day you first met me? I was standing at the hallway packing up my stuff and you were walking with your friends. When our eyes met together I felt really strange because I have never felt anything before when my eyes met with others’. We took one class together out of numerous classes unfortunately but it was you who took the first step of our relationship. You asked me if I wanted to do the class project with you. We two always went together and I felt really happy that I was becoming closer with you. It has been 10 years since we met James. And I don’t know. Why is this happening to us? Why us? Does it have to be us?

           I guess we have to make the best of the time given to us. That is the reason why I wanted to go out and walk around and play with you. You told me I was very different today and asked me what happened. Nothing happened to me, James… But WHAT is going to happen to us? Do I have to just pretend as if nothing is going to happen? Do I have to tell you the truth? Do I have to try really hard to make the best of the time left for us? I do not know James… I don’t know anything. What do I have to do? I just hope everything is just a dream and when I wake up I hope it will be just another normal day without any sad happenings.